DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
