well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
