I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
