Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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