after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
