I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
