i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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