ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
