Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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