You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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