dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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