Don't you send me to vm
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
