Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to have your abortion
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
