nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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