In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
