just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
