tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No I am not eating basil off your cock
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
