come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
