I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When are your genitals available?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
