Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
