My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
