After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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