A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
