come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
