He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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