so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
