I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
