R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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