he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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