What a fucking waste of an outfit
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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