hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
