The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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