So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
