theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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