hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
