Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
