I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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