Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
