she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You ate ashes out of my bong
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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