Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
