I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
