no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
