i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
