You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
