So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
