Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
