he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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