Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
