Pants 0. Shit 1.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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