wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
