well I can't set my house on fire every night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
