gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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