piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
